Sunday, January 25, 2009

Dress Dillemma II

Yup, I was right. I knew my friend would come asking about the dress soon. Last night I got a text asking about it.

I decided to be honest with her and tell her I have ben really stressing about it, not knowing what to do. She was very nice and said she doesn't want me stressing. Thank you. She told me I can get the fabric to match the dress for $12/yard. Ok. That is a start I guess. I asked if she had any ideas how to alter it, as it is her wedding. I told her I want to have a plan before I buy the dress for $150.

She told me, "Yeah, but we really need to order it. It takes 6 weeks to get here." My thoughts, "But we have 4 months and I don't want a dress I can't wear (that cost more than my own wedding dress!)."

I asked if she was set on the one dress she had chosen or if we could go with another option that would look normal with a jacket. She said yes, if I can have my seamstress redo the dress by taking off all of the beadwork. Sigh. Finally, she said she could get a new bridesmaid because she doesn't want me to stress too much.

So, I feel like I am back to square one. She doesn't want me to stress but she also doesn't want to help me fix the problem. Should I take the out and let her choose someone else, or do I take the time and spend the money (probably at least another $100-150 on top of the $150 for the dress)? I really don't know.


Abby said...

My first reaction is "What"? I have never been in a wedding where I had to purchase my own bridesmaid dress; it is the responsibility of the bride's family, and the bridesmaids get to keep their dresses as a thank you. My 3 sisters and I have all been married and for every wedding we paid for ALL the bridesmaid dresses. If they needed a seamstress we just sent a check to the seamstress.
Obviously your bride is cheap or unlearned in how to throw a classy wedding. If you know the bride is financially stretched it is always polite to OFFER to buy your own dress, but it should NEVER be expected. As it is, I would offer to pay for part of the dress, or I would decide how much a part of your life this girl is going to be in ten years. Are you going going to regret not having been in her wedding?

Chelsea said...

I'd say it all depends on how much you value being the bridesmaid and are willing to sacrifice to make her happy. Is it worth it to you to pay 150 plus more fabric and get it altered? If so, you now totally have the option of being in the wedding and being modest, it's just more expensive. If it's not worth it to you, by all means, let her get a new bridesmaid if no one will be hurt and you won't regret it.
I'd probably have just a few friends I'd be willing to pay and do that for, the others, probably not.

brenna said...

I'd say to take her up on having someone else do it. It doesn't sound like you are that excited about it, and if she is ok with it, it would probably be better for everyone.

Amber said...

Hard choice. I know she is a close friend and you don't want her to think you only bailed because it was too stressful. But, I'm not the most loyal friend and I say let her choose someone else. Seems like some brides only want their perfect dress with just a body to hold it up with and carry a bouquet. I've never been involved in a non-LDS wedding, though. They have different rules and are much more serious. Good luck!

Erin said...

Well I am the perfect body to wear it!