Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Thinking about twins+

Twins + -- I don't have any triplet pictures!

7 weeks 6 days!

I think my belly started showing, just a bit, yesterday! And so the expansion of my soon-to-be huge belly begins!

This week has been pretty good so far. I stopped my huge metformin pills (yay) and replaced it with unisom and B6 for nausea. This seems to be helping. I think. I was feeling pretty great compared to before for about five days but feeling a little more blah again the past few days.

Other medication update: I am on the countdown on my shots, less than a month to go! This is great because my hips are starting to feel pretty sore throughout the day. It seems like other cycles I got used to the shots. This time it seems to hurt. every. time.

My tiredness has really hit me the past few days but I am taking a no-guilt approach to this pregnancy. If working a full day at work and sitting on the couch all night is all I do, so be it! But I do try to make dinner when I can as I can't help but feel guilty making hubby cook after he gets home late (and I can't wait that long for dinner, anyway!). So thank you Costco frozen section, as you are feeding all five of us right now!

I've tried to take walks most days, even when tired. It has been harder to get out when it has been cold and rainy as of late. I could really do for some of that "Spring" weather that is supposed to happening during this season.

Emotionally I am feeling good. Honestly, I have been surprised by all of the excited responses we have received. I guess I was wondering if triplets was something most people would see as a blessing or a huge trial. I know most people wouldn't wish it on themselves. There are certainly a lot of challenges and risks with triplets. So I guess I expected people to respond accordingly. But thank you everyone for acting excited and positive. It has helped me focus on the blessing instead of the question marks.

It is a little hard to be in limbo, wondering just how many babies we need to prepare for. At first I felt like I should write off little Baby C as the doctors seem to expect him (I'm not sure why it is hard to visualize him as a her) to go away (-- or are they just preparing us?). Certainly that would make life easier, pregnancy easier, delivery easier, for me and the babies and for Abe and the future in general. But I kind of feel for little "C" who I have been calling "Danny" or "Devito" (Reference to the movie Twins where Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito are twins). I find myself rooting for the little guy who seems to have the odds against him.

For now, I feel calm. I am excited for our next ultrasound. I am looking forward to being able to start figuring this all out. Will we need a new car? A new house? Will I be able to keep working? Will I be delivering closer to 30 or 40 weeks? How many names do I need to choose? Will we be getting a nanny? And just HOW BIG can/will I get (because oh my! have you seen a woman pregnant with triplets before!)?

Once I know a number I will be able to wrap my head around this all a little better.

In the meantime, I guess the uncertainty gives me a chance to calmly consider both options. If I knew it was triplets for sure I think I would have been freaking out from the beginning. I have had some more time to get used to the idea. I realize in all of this that it is truly in God's hands. Worrying isn't going to change anything. It isn't going to help anything, either. I keep thinking, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." We are all blessed for the time we get with each other, no matter how fleeting. So if He gives us three babies, I am ready to figure that out. And if He takes one or more away, I am grateful to have had them for even a short while. Or so I am telling myself.

Until then I will keep reading forums and blogs and poorly reputable internet sources for more info on vanishing twins/triplets and wondering just what is going on in there with those little guys.

I hope you are doing okay in there little guys. And whatever happens, little Danny, we will love you if you stay or have to go.

1 comment:

Jessica Mitchell said...

I am so happy for you, Erin! And give yourself permission to take it easy. NO GUILT! You are growing THREE little blessings! So put your feet up and let the laundry pile on the floor. The "guilt" of "being lazy" in the first trimester is really hard for me, personally. Just remember that you have a wonderful husband, supportive family and friends--many people wanting to share the load with you. So let them! I also used Unisom when I was pregnant with Cambria. It definitely took the edge off for me. With this one, I stepped it up to zofran and phenergan and it makes me feel like Mary Poppins! Good luck!!!