Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The real deal

One of the reasons I love blogging is keeping up with old friends. I like reading posts about people I feel positive feelings for but don’t always have time to call. And I especially love hearing from old friends, no matter how obscure or out of touch they may seem (comments are always welcome and appreciated!). But one of the drawbacks is that it can also be a little discouraging (at least for me) seeing the edited versions of my friends’ lives. I really appreciate those who blog not only about the best hair days and expensive vacations, but the challenges they are having as well (minus gross pictures with things like dirty diapers or baby vomit).

So, at the risk of being a Debbie Downer, I thought to counter my Digital Christmas Card I would counter with the “keeping it real” version (with less pictures—I only have so many somewhat bad pictures I am willing to post, even in the interest of full disclosure).

As if you haven’t noticed already, December has been a bit of a challenging month for me.

I miss this guy…


Abe and I are both on relatively easier rotations. The problem is that we have worked opposite shifts almost all month. Even though we are working potentially fewer hours than usual, I feel like I’ve hardly seen him in weeks. He tells me that he talks to me or cuddles me when he gets home at night (or in the early morning) but unfortunately I don’t usually have the benefit of remembering these interactions as I am sleeping and probably dreaming about the zombie apocalypse or stalkers, etc. Pair that with him studying for his last set of medical board exams and that makes for a stinky month.

2012-10-04 001 2012-10-04 056

I’m feeling a little emotionally, physically, and financially drained. Money feels tighter than usual, I can’t seem to gather the courage/stamina/energy/motivation to clean my house, grocery shop, make healthy meals, exercise, or much anything of besides sleep (which I don’t do very well when Abe is gone). I have been a little better about studying this month. Little victories! I also regained any of the few pounds I lost over the past few months in my attempt to get healthier. Aargh! I must be an emotional eater.

For the sake of truly keeping it real, here is a really awful picture of me obviously feeling wiped out after a bike ride earlier this year. It is a good visual for how I’ve been feeling.


But overall life is good! We are making our way along with Abe’s intern year almost half way completed, boards almost under his belt, and with all of the necessities and comforts of life. I tend to be a little dramatic about the negative in my life, more for a good story than for any real feelings of despair. But hopefully my bad bike day pictures and flair for the dramatic will help you feel a little better when you are bogged down in those dirty diapers and thinking of my GLAMOROUS life as a doctor of dental surgery!

I am really looking forward to a few days off around Christmas, hopefully to rejuvenate and regain some momentum into the new year. In the meantime, if you are looking for some meaningful opportunities to get outside yourself and help out someone in need I'd be happy to provide some of these for you!


Diana said...

Oh Erin, I know how it feels to be bogged down. If you've noticed, I've barely finished posting pictures from the end of October/early November. Life has run away for me this year between work, motherhood, Relief Society presidency, and marathon training. I think my goal for next year should be to simplify! And like you, I'm not seeing much of my hubby this past month either. It's all worth it in the long-run, but the daily drudgery can be tough. I miss living near you, my friend. Perhaps someday we'll truly get to catch up.

Marci Wittwer Butterfield said...

Man I miss you and hearing all about your life. :) Love your blog and the fact that you do share your true emotions.