Thursday, September 22, 2011

Conscious

I don’t remember being very body conscious in high school. I’m sure like most teenage girls, I was SELF-conscious, but I really couldn’t tell you what my body looked like, except I was about 117 pounds (so a lot skinnier). And I had acne. --Or at least that is how I remember it. The only thing I received comments about were my funny feet. I agree, they are funny. And worth commenting on.

When I started at BYU my freshman year, suddenly it seemed every one else was very body conscious for me. I learned from a roommate and a guy I was dating that I had a “funny tummy.” I had never realized that before, so thanks for cluing me in-- I'm honest when I say, I've never forgotten it. I also learned from my roommates and friends that I had a lot of “junk in the trunk,” which luckily I guess was a good thing. But I really had no idea about that, either.

I hope I am a self aware person. Someone who sees myself accurately. Sometimes I get these paranoid thoughts that I am really not who I think I am. Like in those movies where you don’t find out until the end that the main character is the crazy one. I guess if you are crazy enough to develop an alternate universe, you are probably crazy enough to not know. Anyway, I hope this is all real! (If it’s not, maybe I am glad I don’t know.) But you’d think I’d make a little less busy life with more time to myself…(weird the conversations I have with myself).

As for my body, I know I probably don’t see an accurate representation of myself. It can be helpful to have a twin sister to look at but even with our similarities, she isn’t me. I think it is interesting to compare compliments I receive to my own perception of myself over time.

Most frequent compliment lately: "You have beautiful skin."-- I still feel like my acne-ridden teenage self so this surprises me. I'm glad people see me this way because I have NO IDEA how to wear cover-up!

Second runner-up: "You have perfect teeth" or a "great smile." --Best compliments for a dentist!

Compliment I never get anymore: "You are so skinny." I'm not fat but I don't think I merit this one anymore to exclaim it without fishing. (I hope I don't really do that, by the way.) Although come to think of it, someone did say that to me yesterday...I was wearing scrubs that were too big.

Compliment I'm just starting to appreciate and wish I got more: "Wow, you look too young to be my doctor." This used to annoy me a bit. I'm hearing it less now and I'm starting to feel old.

Most laughed at body part: remember the part about my feet? Who cares, they could be worse in my mind! A lot worse.

And for the end, one compliment I wish I got just once: "I love your six pack!" (see paragraph 2)

What do you get the most compliments on? Do you agree?

8 comments:

Rachel said...

my hair. I get the most compliments about my hair. WHich is LAME because it's the most fake thing on my body. Product, color, straightner...you get my drift.
I do like your skin. It's very clear and glowing. I've never noticed your funny feet or tummy. I wonder what they thought was funny about it? what a weird thing to tell someone.

Abby said...

I actually came to comment on your last post, becuase everything you wrote is exactly how I have felt about blogging lately.

But I'll answer this one too, although I feel a little weird saying it: People tend to ask me if I'm a model or tell me I look like a model. Obviously this is meant to be a compliment but I usually think it has a lot to do with my height:) The weirdest compliments have come since Coop--guys complimenting me while I am holding my baby. A week ago I got a guy that said, "You're both very cute." Whaaat?

And, if you ever want people to start telling you how skinny you are, have a baby, and just avoid putting on insane amounts of weight. As long as you stay relatively normal sized everywhere but your tummy, you're suddenly the skinniest person alive.

Okay, sorry for the monster comment. You do have GREAT skin. And hair--mine is to dry to grow that long:(

Erin said...

Rachel, my toes are too long and my tummy is "too poochy." Don't look too closely on the tummy though please. Ha ha. Rachel I think you always have a fun, colorful style.

Abby, are they using Cooper as a way to hit on you? I have no idea what it would be like to be asked to be a model but I could see it feeling a little weird. And I'm glad I'm no the only one feeling weird about blogging.

Thanks for the comments!

Colt said...

In my physiology class, which is taught by a neurophysicist, we had an interesting lecture on perception and specifically on perception of ones self and body image. Interesting stuff.

Erin said...

Colt, I would love to hear what you learned about this topic...maybe you could do a guest post for me?

Colt said...

there wasn't a whole lot of content about the matter, but pretty much the way you perceive yourself is linked to a certain set of neurons in the brain. The thing about your senses is that they are easily deceived (a la 16th century philosophy via Descartes), and that the way you perceive yourself and everybody else is relative in a sense. There is an agnosia disease specifically related to how people view themselves. There are people out there who view themselves as "fat" or "ugly" even though they aren't... which is a dysfunction related to these specific neurons. But in the end, everything is about perception and everything you perceive is a recollection created by your own brain. Kind of trippy.

nathan n rachel said...

Recently my compliments have been on my hair. People will ask me what color I use to highlight my hair. I always get a kick out of that because I don't dye my hair. :)

Camber said...

I've actually always thought you had amazing skin and hair. I had terrible acne as a teenager too and still have a love/hate relationship with my skin (more hate than love, lets be honest). I think it's funny that I and others want compliments on our looks and bodies so much when it's the thing we have the least control over. We should really give our parents credit for most of our looks. Compliments on being nice or funny or hard-working or something would probably be better. Could you please wear sandals to church sometime? Now I really want to see your feet...