Monday, December 14, 2009

Vanity

You know how growing up, you always thought people were watching you? When I was in high school I was mortified when a man from another table came up to me in a restaurant in Park City to tell me that I was holding my chopsticks wrong. I already felt like people were scrutinizing my every move and this seemed to be proof that in fact, people were.

It took me years to try again because I was too worried about "doing it wrong." This was after I was trying to imitate a Japanese family who seemed to really have it.

As I have gotten older, I don't think much about this any more. But sometimes, I can't help but wonder, what do other people notice about me, or others in general. When I think of others I realize I probably don't notice much. For example, sometimes I read blogs where people say things like, "Here is a picture of us, it is HORRID, but you get the idea." Usually I wonder, "are they fishing for compliments or do they really think they look bad?"

This makes me wonder things like:
  • Do people notice my bushy eyebrows that I am trying to grow out a bit and don't have adequate time (or probably patience) to pluck perfectly each day?--what about my patients who are probably staring into my eyes (at least the ones who are awake)?
  • I feel like I look different from day to day. Some days are horrible and others pretty good. Do I look much different to others?
  • Does make-up make that much of a difference?
  • Do people notice I really am a scrub most days? (I do wear scrubs most days, granted)
  • Am I skinny or fat? When I say fat, I mean, fatter than I like. I can't seem to decide and my Wii fit seems to tell me differently each time.
  • Can people tell how bootylicious I am in my scrubs (ha ha, just kidding)
  • Do people notice how devastatingly handsome my husband is and do I look out of place next to him? (Merry Christmas, Abe)

My guess is, no, people probably don't. Because honestly, I don't think I notice these things on YOU.

8 comments:

Abby said...

Weird, I was JUST thinking about this too becuase yesterday I saw a blog post where someone said, "This is a terrible picture of us, but it's better than nothing." I thought they looked pretty good (or at least normal)!

I remember complaining to my mom about "ugly days" and she would say that to everyone else I looked the same as usual. My response was "ew...I always look this bad?!" :) but I get her point.

Finally, I'm glad you think Abe is devastatingly handsome. I like to think we have some good genes. You fit right in.

Marci and Adam said...

Hey! Glad I fell upon your blog... Love all your thoughts. It's fabulous.

Courtright Family said...

Erin you crack me up. I've had all the same thoughts before (except the scrubs part, I've never been lucky enough to wear them=). You want to know the first thing that I thought when I saw you and Abe together? "WOW. That is one gorgeous couple." =) And I'm not lying, I really said that to myself. As for the one about makeup, you are one of those natural beauties that don't need makeup. And when you wear it, it just brings out your already beautiful eyes. And I know we talked about eyebrows when you were over a couple weeks ago, and I didn't notice ANY bushy-ness. Love you!

nathan n rachel said...

First off...you and Abe---wow...HOT COUPLE! I sometimes wonder if people look at Nathan and I and think "how did she end up with him (or vice versa)."

I think some of the same things too. And you are not the only one who doesn't pluck their eyebrows everyday. I hate plucking!

Caitlyn said...

I've been wondering about this sort of lately, like how I'll look different to myself from a mirror and a photo, so I wonder what me people see, but you never know what others think of you :D

Suz said...

I remember seeing at a photo once of me and thinking how awful it made me look but every one of my children told me it was a very good "likeness" of me. It made me wonder how I can have such a different image of myself from looking in a mirror vs. seeing a photo. I see other people's photos and think it just looks like them. Some are better poses than others but it still looks like them. So, the same must be true for me...as horrible as that is.

brenna said...

I wonder the same thing. It must be human nature. And so you know, I got the packages, we're good to go.

Rachel said...

I am guilty of worrying about what others think for me 99% of the time. i recently realized not only that this is ridiculous but so self centered! It's kinda natural. And I am sure I haven't plucked my eyebrows since I was pregnant. it's getting kinda scary...