I'm still here, world.
This past month was pretty crazy. And I didn't have a lot of emotional capacity (or time) to sit down and write. Even today, after noting a whole month of not blogging, I feel a little strained on where to go from here.
The first week after the break in was pretty hard. I felt like I was in a depression: tired, lack of energy, poor appetite, stressed. While it was anxiety provoking to prepare for our upcoming trip to Florida (for a conference/vacation), especially while being cut off from all of our funds while waiting for new credit cards and debit cards to be sent, going away was a huge blessing! The conference was great and Abe and I had some much needed away/down time together.
I think that break really helped us reset and come back together a little more sane. I am ready to move on from the whole thing. Unfortunately, we've made little physical progress in this. We finally got our new doors installed (the side door was broken and we decided to upgrade the front as well to something more secure), to at least a functional manner (yay, we can go in and out the side door again) after weeks of waiting (the door company lost our order so we had to wait even longer than usual). I finally heard back a very short reply from the police a few days ago (my first communication since the first few days) saying basically they have no updates. And we are still working/battling with the insurance company on our claim. I will be so glad when I have most of my stuff back and can do simple things like turn my TV on again (they stole the remote) and return this borrowed computer.
Some longer term implications of it all, the things they took that can't be replaced (besides my sentimental jewelry) include my sense of security. I find myself more scared to do simple things like walk from my detached garage to my house at night, spending the night alone when Abe is on call, and even driving more than a few miles.You never wake up expecting today to be the day you [fill in the blank for something bad that can happen.] I certainly didn't expect ever to be robbed in our little Iowa town. Now I can't seem to help but wonder, Will today be the day I ....?
With the stress of the event and all the time it has taken to sort through everything, I got derailed from my new healthy eating goal. After weeks of cutting back on sugar and processed foods, I was enjoying more wholesome food and saying no to cookies that much easier. I certainly fell back to the high carb comfort foods since then. I gained back most of the 6 pounds I lost and am only just beginning to lose that again.
After months of budgeting and getting ready to make some more sacrificing in the name of frugal living, our computers with all of our budgeting information were taken. I am trying to get caught back up now but I worry I wont ever be able to figure out where we left off. We have had to cut back on student loan payments to cover some of the costs of the deductible and home repairs (hello compound interest!).
The good news is all of the kindess everyone has shown through this whole ordeal. I can't believe the generosity of so many who have made us food, let us borrow computers, brought replacement gifts, or just listened to me cry or vent about the whole deal.
I feel very blessed to receive a scholarship to the conference I attended. The $1500 is almost enough to cover the deductible or one of the door repairs. What a blessing in disguise.
And this has been a good reminder that things are just things. Yes, they are your things and can mean a lot, but in the end, they don't really matter.
I don't expect to ever recover any of our items. I will be surprised if the perpetrators ever get caught. But I am moving on. Even if they have set us back financially, emotionally, and in life goals such healthy living, financial discipline, studying, or even blogging. But I am coming back, even if slower than before.
And I certainly learned a thing or two about protecting against future loss. Maybe that will be my next post.
(Once I get our new computer and settled back in, I hope to include some pictures with my posts as well. Luckily they were kind enough to leave our external hard drive with our personal photos!)