Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Skin 'n bones

I found this article today. I also found it a little sad.


It reminds me of a time when I was in my last year of college. I was extremely busy with a 20 hour/week job, full time classes, my lacrosse team, and dental school applications/interviews. I was so busy and stressed I found that I wasn't eating as often as I should and I feel I was a few pounds underweight.

I got compliments during that time about how I looked great. One guy I was dating told me he didn't like girls who were "too skinny." I asked if he thought I was and he said, "No, you are perfect." That really got me down. I had spent hours in the gym exercising to have strong muscles and to be healthy. At this point I wasn't doing that and suddenly I looked better than ever without even trying, when I actually felt my most unhealthy. I was very discouraged that my "too skinny" stage was "just right" and good thing I didn't fit under the "too skinny" thing he was talking about when I felt I was almost inadvertently starving myself. I asked him about it months later and he said he was hinting that I should put on some weight but was caught off guard when I asked him about it, that he didn't want to hurt my feelings. I don't know if that was true or not but it had a big impact on me in relation to what we have come to accept as "normal" or "beautiful." I felt I could never keep up that "ideal" or that I should even try. And I guess at my normal weight at that time of 125 pounds I was a chub.

As much as I try to fight it, I know I have been sucked into the skinny is best mentality. I noticed the other day while watching a realty show that I kept saying to myself, "She's not THAT pretty." or "She's kind of chubby" when in fact, the women I was watching were attractive and thin. They just didn't live up to my perfect standard I was used to seeing with the movie stars and models we usually see in the media.

I have also tried to stop looking at magazines that try to catch celebrities with their cellulite or their newly chubby tummies, etc. I used to look at them in horror and disgust, "Oh my gosh, how is she famous with a tummy like that!" or "look at those stretch marks." I think in being critical of them (when they are usually obviously gorgeous) sends a subconscious message to myself that is harmful. If Beyonce or Jennifer Aniston aren't perfect, I should maybe be glad instead of disgusted that they are normal people too.

What do you do to protect yourself from this dangerous philosophy? It is so hard to not get sucked into believing it, even when I logically tell myself not to.

1 comment:

Russell's food for thought said...
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