|Do I really want to do THIS again??? |
I was HUGE and that was HARD.
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Tomorrow is the big day, my round #6 of IVF, FET (frozen embryo transfer) #5.
I still don't know what time I need to be there...I better double check this afternoon.
Honestly, I haven't thought about it much. I've been doing my progesterone shots since May 6. I dread them every night although they honestly haven't been bad and easier than before. (Tip: the cold of an alcohol swab on the adjacent skin is a nice distraction.) But besides my TID (three times per day) estradiol pills and the nightly shots I kinda forgot about it. Abe even mentioned something about "Thursday" and I literally said, "Oh yeah, Thursday!"
Am I blocking it from my mind in some subconscious defense mechanism? Am I such an "old pro" at this IVF thing it just doesn't phase me any more? Or maybe life as a working mother of twins is enough to keep my mind busy I haven't had time to ruminate on it all?
I don't know the answer but it is strange to think tomorrow I may be pregnant. And if I find out in a few weeks that I am not, then I am probably never going to be pregnant again. I don't know how I will respond when I actually process that.
So prayers that things go as they should tomorrow, whether that means God has another baby for us or not. And prayers I will be able to gracefully accept whatever that answer is, because right now either answer is a little scary.