Doctors in training

During dental school I adopted a personal mantra of not wishing my life away, waiting for it to begin. I have made great efforts to avoid the, "When I get married..." or "After graduation I will..." mentality. But I think it is still a trap that is so easy to fall into. I have been thinking about this a lot with a slew of family changes: Babies, graduations, engagements and marriages, job hunts, new jobs, moves, etc. Sometimes it feels like everyone is growing up, and I'm still in limbo.

In some ways I feel ever much like the adult that I hope I am (by now). I make serious medical decisions at work that I'm sure my patients would hope an adult is making. I cut on people-- they trust me to change them forever while in a coma-like state unable to stop me. I pay bills and taxes (which would make anyone feel old). And I am 30. Which sounds very adult.

But I find I still feel like I am waiting. I look around to see not only old friends but now even siblings having families of their own. My peers are parents, not just of babies, but of children who are getting taller and smarter by it seems the minute. Their age shows much more on them than it has on me physically and is a shocking reminder of how far I have come in the time since they were in diapers and are now reading chapter books at school or doing long division. 

I am still waiting as classmates are working real jobs have been working real jobs. They do things like go on family vacations and business trips. They have a real salary and a retirement plan. And now this is increasingly true of not just college friends, but dental school classmates who have their own practices and employees and patients.

Sometimes I wonder what it is like to be a "real adult." I think Abe and I do a pretty good job living our life and not waiting to "arrive." But I find we still wonder, what is it like to be "out there," out there in "the real world?" It seems like we have a long way to go before we both transition into the next stage.

And then again, sometimes I'm glad. It sounds a little scary out there. I guess life is life, no matter how you are living it.