The Big One

photo credit Chelsee Sheffield

As an adult, I feel the change of time differently than I did as a child. I remember when each year and each birthday seemed like a huge milestone. A new grade! New pants (to replace the ones that now hit above the ankles)! A chance to say my age as a round number instead of one carefully measured in quarters (wouldn't it be funny if adults did this? "How old are you? "-- "33 and a quarter")! 

Besides the big milestones -- 18! 21! 30! I don't see or even celebrate much of the aging or progress I must be undergoing, except maybe by the slow development of fine lines popping up on my forehead or the increased difficulty I have getting back in shape.

I have noticed myself hesitantly measuring my own progression in life by the growing children of my friends:

Our marriage is a 5th grader now! 

My career in private practice is walking and throwing tantrums. 

And my time as a mother is a one year old (well two one year olds)!

People act like this is a big deal. "You made it!" I wonder if there was ever a question. (Was there???) I'm glad we did -- instead of the alternative, I suppose.  

And it does feel like an accomplishment, maybe especially with twins. 

Our parenthood is now one years old, whether you go off actual birthday or due date. It is growing up -- as old as two babies feeding themselves (although still a pretty messy job), crawling all over and even taking steps. It is outgrowing infant car seats, communicating with simple words like "hot!" and "thank you." And is a combined 50 lbs. 

I know it is still rather early, but we have gone far enough I find myself giving advice to new moms as if I am a seasoned pro. (Does having two babies accelerate me on the path a bit?)

Isn't it interesting how time has a strange way of going so fast and yet so slowly at the same time? It seems like these babies have been with us for a lifetime, and yet I am amazed it has already been a whole year! 

I wondered how I would feel when we all hit this big one year milestone. Would I cry like the other moms warned? Would I mourn the loss of my two little snuggly babies replaced with toddlers on the move? Or perhaps relish the moment like most of the twin parents I know -- so relieved to have made it through the time most refer to as " a blur" or a time they can't even remember?

When the big day arrived, I found myself happy and excited for the progress we have made and the future ahead. So far I have loved every stage with its challenges and joys and look forward to the progress and learning that is ahead with excitement and pride. 

It is strange but exciting that now I can measure the passing of our lives in the progress of my own children. 

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Written Fall 2016, shortly after birthday #1!