I’m going VEGAN!

 

But only part time. A few nights a week maybe? I’ve thrown the idea of vegetarianism around for a long time. I’m not ready to commit 100% but I think it will give me some healthy low calorie and creative options I wouldn’t have tried before and I think going vegan can take it to the next level (I would add cheese to almost any meal). This has nothing to do with animal cruelty or environmentalism. I think eating a vegan “hotdog” or “sushi” just doesn’t make sense and if I want a hotdog or sushi or sausage I think I’ll just eat the real deal. But roasted sweet potato and quinoa soup or brussel sprout and butternut squash lasagna sounds pretty good and I don’t think I’ll miss the animal products or the extra calories they pack in there.

So why the change?

I think everyone has heard of the Freshman 15. I, like many of my freshman friends, found this to be pretty true. I remember gaining about 10-15 pounds during my freshman year at BYU. Luckily, I quickly lost most of it.

I recently read an article that said that women who start living with a man tend to gain about 15 pounds. I used to ask myself, “What is it about getting married that makes my girlfriends gain weight?” I swore I would not be one of those women.

And even more recently, I read an article that said that women who work more than 30 hours per week tended to be heavier (I think 8-9 pounds heavier) than their counterparts. I am sorry I don’t have the sources for these articles…you can maybe find them on your own if you are curious.

So maybe this explains the weight I have gained over the past few years (I’m not ready to attribute age just yet, I’m not even 30 and haven’t had any children). I am not exactly sure when it started but I was about 12-15 pounds lighter when I got married 5 years ago than I am now. During this time I have been in school (Freshman 15), I started living with a man (Man 15), and have worked about double the 30 hour mark (Residency 15). So I’m not sure where the weight breaks down between these but I’ve been a little frustrated with these changes.

I stepped on the scale the other day and I was heavier than I have ever been. Granted I just got back from a pig-out fest in Chicago and am back down to my new “normal,” it was a bit of a wake up call. Especially because before that I was heavier than I had ever been. And so on, and so on, slowly inching up the pounds and tighter the pants in a very short period of time. I am not saying I am fat, but I feel out of control. If I continue to gain this much weight I will be overweight and more importantly, unhealthy.

So I’m starting over on my weight loss but more importantly get healthy “journey” (that’s the popular word right now, right, journey?). And don’t get freaked out because I’d be happy to lose about 5 pounds.

Part of my problem with being consistent in eating healthfully and low calorie is hunger. I recently made a few vegan meals and found I could eat as much as I wanted and still had enough calories left over for the day for a few cookies. So that’s my new plan. Erin, the part time Vegetarian/Vegan (or as Caroline would say, Flexitarian?).

Here are the recipes if you’d like to try…

http://www.namelymarly.com/2012/08/lentil-sloppy-joes/

http://www.manifestvegan.com/2011/10/sweet-potato-cauliflower-soup/

I would love to hear your healthy meal tips or recipes!

Happy New Year to my closet

I made a New Year’s Resolution this year to save a little more money.

To keep that resolution, I went shopping!

Oops. I couldn’t help myself. Christmas gets me into spending mode. The problem is, after I spend on everyone else, I want to spend on myself.

After Christmas is a great time to shop. I knew that. But evidently WELL AFTER Christmas is also a great time to shop. I keep finding new deals I can’t pass up. I don’t feel too bad as I really don’t buy myself clothes very often. And I got some great deals (I’m really saving money, right?).

I normally would think this was a kind of boring post. But I find that similar posts in my blog reading in the past about outfits girls find that they tout as being highly fashionable (even when I often disagree) get lots of comments, especially when a great deal has been used to obtain the (questionably) fashionable item. Feel free to shower the “You go girls!” upon me as you feel appropriate.

So, to garner the praise, here is the majority of my booty (not counting the new stuff I also found for Abe).

This is $660 worth of clothes for $150.

2 long sleeve T’s

1 sweater

1 vest

1 wool jacket

2 dresses

1 sweat pants

1 cardigan

1 chino dress pant

1 button down casual shirt

That’s an average of about $13.50 per item compared to $60 per item, and that includes dress pants, dresses, and coats. I feel pretty good about that!

So where did I garner such a  treasure trove of women’s clothing? I scored big at Kohl’s. This was probably the highest yield with about $250 of merchandise for about $40. I recently had a conversation with a friend who said she only buys nice clothes and has never been to Kohl’s.

“Does Kohl’s even have anything trendy?”

I leave that up to you to judge, but that is where I got the sweater, the t shirts, the coat, and the orange dress. I’m not going to be presume that I am the fashion authority, especially as I near 30 and feel more and more out of touch with what is “cool,” but I was happy. So, if you agree with my friend, maybe I am wearing grandma clothes (which actually is not totally untrue as Abe’s 86 yo grandma gives me her hand-me-downs which I often do wear – she’s a classy lady!) but at least those “non-trendy clothes” were a real deal.

I bought the cardigan, dress pants, and silver dress at Banana Republic. The sweats and vest at Sear’s going-out-of-business sale (never really shopped at Sear’s before), and the pink shirt at American Eagle.

I’m a sucker for a good deal and I’d be curious to hear where you like to shop for the deals. And remember, comments (especially “you-go-girls”) are always appreciated.

So this is Christmas, so what have you done?

"So, what are you doing for Christmas Break?"

I must not be a very patient person because I get very annoyed with this question. I feel like I shouldn't be because isn't it very nice that people are interested in me and are asking perfectly appropriate social questions?

The irritating thing, I suppose, is that I don't get a Christmas Break. I am coming quickly upon 30 years old, have been out of school for almost 4 years, and rarely even have Christmas itself off. Odds are, I'll be up all night seeing patient's in the ER while Santa is ushering in a wonderful day for you and your family to begin the next morning as you sleep in late and look forward to days or even weeks off.

I guess your question is like rubbing salt in the wound. It's a painful reminder that my time isn't always my own. That while others are enjoying life and making memories I am often at work.

This year was different, however. I got lucky! This month I am rotating on a team that doesn't really need me. I am lucky to be there to learn about what they do but they really don't need me for much of anything. This has translated into a lot of extra time off over the past 10 days or so. Finishing work early or even just getting extra days off has been such a blessing and the closest thing I've had to a Christmas Break in years. Unfortunately, Abraham has been working the typical intern schedule in the ER with nights, weekends, and holiday hours. We still don't know if he will be working tomorrow or not but are planning that he likely will be.

So to answer the above less-annoying-than-usual-and-maybe-not-annoying-at-all question, we spent a few days in Chicago with Abe's family (a yearly tradition), enjoyed a lazy few days opening presents, saw Les Miserables, attended an engagement party (again in Chicago), and today I am starting on my New Years Resolution to have a "house of order" by doing some long put off (for way too many months) cleaning and organizing.

Hope you all had a great "Christmas Break" as well.

The real deal

One of the reasons I love blogging is keeping up with old friends. I like reading posts about people I feel positive feelings for but don’t always have time to call. And I especially love hearing from old friends, no matter how obscure or out of touch they may seem (comments are always welcome and appreciated!). But one of the drawbacks is that it can also be a little discouraging (at least for me) seeing the edited versions of my friends’ lives. I really appreciate those who blog not only about the best hair days and expensive vacations, but the challenges they are having as well (minus gross pictures with things like dirty diapers or baby vomit).

So, at the risk of being a Debbie Downer, I thought to counter my Digital Christmas Card I would counter with the “keeping it real” version (with less pictures—I only have so many somewhat bad pictures I am willing to post, even in the interest of full disclosure).

As if you haven’t noticed already, December has been a bit of a challenging month for me.

I miss this guy…

Abe and I are both on relatively easier rotations. The problem is that we have worked opposite shifts almost all month. Even though we are working potentially fewer hours than usual, I feel like I’ve hardly seen him in weeks. He tells me that he talks to me or cuddles me when he gets home at night (or in the early morning) but unfortunately I don’t usually have the benefit of remembering these interactions as I am sleeping and probably dreaming about the zombie apocalypse or stalkers, etc. Pair that with him studying for his last set of medical board exams and that makes for a stinky month.

I’m feeling a little emotionally, physically, and financially drained. Money feels tighter than usual, I can’t seem to gather the courage/stamina/energy/motivation to clean my house, grocery shop, make healthy meals, exercise, or much anything of besides sleep (which I don’t do very well when Abe is gone). I have been a little better about studying this month. Little victories! I also regained any of the few pounds I lost over the past few months in my attempt to get healthier. Aargh! I must be an emotional eater.

For the sake of truly keeping it real, here is a really awful picture of me obviously feeling wiped out after a bike ride earlier this year. It is a good visual for how I’ve been feeling.

But overall life is good! We are making our way along with Abe’s intern year almost half way completed, boards almost under his belt, and with all of the necessities and comforts of life. I tend to be a little dramatic about the negative in my life, more for a good story than for any real feelings of despair. But hopefully my bad bike day pictures and flair for the dramatic will help you feel a little better when you are bogged down in those dirty diapers and thinking of my GLAMOROUS life as a doctor of dental surgery!

I am really looking forward to a few days off around Christmas, hopefully to rejuvenate and regain some momentum into the new year. In the meantime, if you are looking for some meaningful opportunities to get outside yourself and help out someone in need I'd be happy to provide some of these for you!

A Digital Christmas Card…

I’ve started receiving Christmas cards from old friends and family members with cute pictures and yearly updates. I realize that Abraham and I have never sent Christmas cards. I’m not planning to start but I was recently perusing pictures from the past year and I guess I could share some of those.

So here is your digital card of sorts…

In 2012 we survived

Birthdays (getting older and into those ages that aren’t quite so fun to mention)…

Medical school Match Day (and long days on Neurosurgery…can you see how tired I look? This picture is in the morning, about 9 hours after I had arrived at work that morning)…

Graduation (after 8 years and two doctorate degrees later)…

 

A celebratory trip to Curacao…

The first day of residency…

And many nights long at work…

Five years of marriage…

The summer with my brother Colton…

A trip to Utah, Wyoming, and Montana

 

More work (including Abe pulling his first tooth)

And expecting to “survive” a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (even when on-call!).

Wishing you the same (minus the on-call part).

From,

Where are you Christmas?

 

The world we live in can be a scary place. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and had an even stronger reminder yesterday with the horror of the school shooting. I think working in a hospital I get more than my fair share of reminders of how short or tragic this life can be. The night before the shooting I remember saying to Abe in bed, “It’s kind of scary, you never know what can happen. Tomorrow you may not wake up, you could get shot in a school shooting, fall from a ladder and lose your arm, become paralyzed in a car accident. Or that could happen to someone you love. You never wake up thinking, “This is the day that could change my life forever.” Or at least I rarely do.

I remember when I read about the movie massacre this July. I was shocked, horrified, very sad. I felt unnerved and a little scared. And it become that much more real when I had the opportunity to treat one of the victims in our clinic. She had gone to a showing in the adjacent theater. When the bullets started coming through the walls into her theater there was a stampede. She was trampled and her jaw was broken in the incident. Since she had no health insurance and was from Iowa, she was sent back home to be treated. It felt like a blessing to meet this woman who by a simple stroke of luck was just a few hundred feet from an almost imminent death. I felt like she was a walking miracle.

This time I feel a little numb to it. I can’t quite comprehend it. It’s almost like I have felt too much in the past and am past feeling. Instead of FEELING so much this time, I’ve done a lot of thinking. I worry a little about writing these next thoughts because I don’t want to be misinterpreted. But these are some things I would like to sort through mentally, if not only for myself.

* * *

I’m not sure why it came to my mind as I haven’t seen or thought of this in years, but I couldn’t help but think of a short film I remember watching as a child called, Cipher in the Snow.

If you don’t feel like watching the clip, here is the main idea: within minutes of watching a boy walks off a bus and dies. I don’t completely understand the show from my childhood memories (and didn’t feel I had the time to rewatch all of it), but essentially from my memory he is a boy unknown to almost anyone. He went through life almost completely unnoticed. And then he just dies (of a presumed broken heart?). People are shocked at his death but even then don’t really have anything positive to remember about him.

* * *

I find myself wondering how someone could perform some of these horrible acts. Are they truly evil? Or maybe just crazy? These are the easy answers. I don’t quite understand evil and I hopefully don’t understand crazy. . .

A less easy answer I wonder about is a haunting thought they maybe these people are ciphers in the snow themselves, except instead of collapsing in the snow, they make themselves known in a very dynamic way. A last cry for help, recognition, acknowledgement, showing the world the hurt they have been experiencing inside in the most public way they can imagine. I really don’t know. I don’t know what happened that day, or the night of the batman shooting or Columbine or any of those awful events. But I wonder if they were hugged by their mom that day? If the girl at the busstop said hi? If the neighbor asked how they were doing?

I do know this may make people mad. You may even say I am trying to take away the accountability for their actions. Or make excuses.

That is not what I am saying. I’m not entirely sure what I am saying…

But when I remember to hug my loved ones a little tighter, I want to try to also remember to be that much kinder to those around me who may be less loveable, may even be a stranger, or someone usually forgotten. I don’t think I will ever prevent a tragedy and probably wont change any lives, but I think a kind word or smile can go a long way. I hope I never pass up a chance to add that bit of needed sunshine to someone’s day.

It seems a little sad to say Merry Christmas with all of those presents that will go unwrapped under multiple trees and the homes that Santa will no longer have to visit but I hope we can find hope and peace in this world of trouble remembering the true meaning of Christmas, that a baby was born to “bear our griefs, and carry our sorrows.” Isaiah 53:4

He’s back!

I’m not sure if I ever made public a death in our family. Some of my loyal, long term readers may remember him from previous posts.

Introduction

Gnome

Initially he was just like any other gnome. He just sat there in the dirt. Until one day a woman at work took a particular interest in him. She made the mistake of thinking he was a robot and eventually asked a friend if he was a “mormon shrine.” We got quite the kick out of that. Pretty soon he started to develop quite the personality (as we can see in the post above) and popular among friends at work. It wasn’t uncommon for us to come home to find him ready to celebrate the next holiday.

Sadly, sometime this year he was broke to pieces after falling to an untimely death. We felt it was unlikely a suicidal incident and more an unfortunate accident. We like to think of it as an “act of God.” Really, gnomes should never be at the height he was enjoying when a burst of wind came through. There were some rumors that it was the work of an Iowa State Catholic (there was some early confusion about him being a Mormon icon), but these rumors were never confirmed. Unfortunately, humpty dumpty could not be put back together again and too sad to put him to rest, he sat in a pile on the porch. We had to celebrate Labor Day, Halloween, and even Thanksgiving without him this year.

In reflection, it is interesting to note that I never thought I would adopt a gnome. In fact, I felt they were rather silly. However, he had really grown on us and we were sad to see him gone. I guess we weren’t the only ones…

Looks like he was re-incarnated and back to his old, jolly antics.

A Christmas miracle! Coming out our door we noticed a familiar face. He looks a little different (I guess the stress of resurrection really put the white in his beard) but we recognized him right away with for his holiday cheer.

 

I’m excited to see what he does next. He truly seems to have a “life of his own.”