tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3549259773779062586.post7182697999732317550..comments2023-10-25T08:11:05.087-05:00Comments on Like pulling teeth: The end of this long series: Just the two of us, we can make it if we try!Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05602707566166046783noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3549259773779062586.post-31111846149109553982013-02-25T02:29:08.838-06:002013-02-25T02:29:08.838-06:00There's nothing wrong with hiring a capable an...There's nothing wrong with hiring a capable and loving nanny to care for your kids while you're at work. I live in Cambodia right now and we have a full-time nanny even though I only work part-time. And it's awesome! When I'm not at work the nanny cooks and cleans. I cherish every moment with my daughter instead of counting down the hours until bedtime. I am emotionally more stable and a better mom to her. So that's my experience for what it's worth. In the US we wouldn't be able to afford a full-time nanny but some people can and it really works for them.<br />michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06255898679206168298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3549259773779062586.post-66940394818167780242013-02-22T21:22:17.646-06:002013-02-22T21:22:17.646-06:00I've really enjoyed reading these blog posts, ...I've really enjoyed reading these blog posts, because I love learning about the journey that influences people's decisions and personalities. It's also lead me to reflect a lot on my own journey and how I feel about it. The conclusion I've come to is that there is peace and safety in the Lord, and His revelation to each person is priceless. I think that the world is such a contradictory and confusing place, and Satan eats away at us any way he can. Where you were met with criticism about becoming a professional woman, I've felt society telling me that I've sold myself short for staying home and having children. Or that I'd do my kids much more good by making something of myself in the world. There are people who just don't understand how their own logic and learning can be different from others'; If it doesn't make sense to them, then it shouldn't make sense to anyone. Ultimately we just have to tune out judgments, pressures, and criticism and trust that our own personal revelation will take us on the right path. I congratulate you for doing so- despite all of the hardships that dental school and residency brings (my poor husband went bald from the stress). The Lord will continue to help you navigate motherhood whenever and however you choose to pursue it. Joe'n'Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16090738560133538663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3549259773779062586.post-68148948670704776982013-02-22T13:50:46.469-06:002013-02-22T13:50:46.469-06:00Erin, I read your whole series and loved it. I rea...Erin, I read your whole series and loved it. I really appreciate you sharing your story and perspective on this. It's something I've struggled with a LOT--from my time in undergrad when I decided not to pursue the medical school route (because I was afraid it would interfere with having a family) to recently deciding to move forward with grad school even though I was expecting a baby. I agonized about that decision a lot, feeling guilty for even wanting to go, even though I'd wanted to have kids for a long time. I even second-guessed my decision once I had the baby. But I really think that personal revelation is just that--personal. Everyone needs to figure out what's right for THEM. Some women in their undergrad decide to go to medical school anyway, and some people accepted to grad school when they're pregnant would decide to drop out. All those scenarios are totally fine--everyone has a different path, different opportunities to do good, and different capabilities. It's so hard in the LDS faith when we mistakenly think there is only 1 right way of doing things, and there's not. There is so much good you can do with additional education, and there's a lot of good you can do as a mother. Who's to say there's a magic combination of those two things that is "righteous" and any other possibility is unacceptable? Thanks for putting your story out there--I think it's a great reminder to everyone that there are multiple paths for even a good, faithful LDS woman to take. Camberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08638196039962561654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3549259773779062586.post-13566823449099465632013-02-21T22:13:05.193-06:002013-02-21T22:13:05.193-06:00Diana, I hope to follow your example and find a jo...Diana, I hope to follow your example and find a job that just works! I can't believe how little you sleep, I couldn't do that.<br /><br />Colton, thanks for your thoughts. I totally agree that being a good mom is more than just being home. It probably isn't better to plop your kids in front of the tv all day than to have someone interact with them at daycare through games and activities.<br /><br />Heidi, you are great! I really admire you and you will be an amazing mom one day.Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05602707566166046783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3549259773779062586.post-49274774589118367342013-02-20T22:19:13.644-06:002013-02-20T22:19:13.644-06:00I enjoyed reading this series!
I had a good thoug...I enjoyed reading this series!<br /><br />I had a good thought stream the other night evaluating the subject on daycare. I think daycare is frowned down upon in Utah because it implies a working mother...I realized that I was subjected to and ingrained with societal stigmas on the matter that--however weren't really my own--were present on some subconscious level. <br /><br />I think it is great to be a stay at home mother... When I get married I don't want to marry a girl to be just my wife, I am going to marry her to be the mother of my children... because no other person will have a greater effect on my children's character. I DON'T think the mere presence of the mother being there all day long is the necessary factor to those greatest returns. I think having a strong mother that shows drive, ambition, independence, and social achievement has a lot to draw from, ( especially in this day and age), than someone that showed they were willing when called upon to "sacrifice" by being home all day. Our mom wasn't like this, and then there are some great examples like Kristen who are strong intelligent women who play very proactive roles in their children's lives... but it seemed like a lot of my friend's moms just layed around watching daytime tv all day haha.<br /><br />I also think that going to daycare benefits social development... and like you said... five years later they will be in school all day, and five years after that they'll be out being busy on their own too. If one really wanted to blunt about it... you could almost make the argument that the benefit from just the economic perspective alone can provide for some of the biggest gains and opportunities in the children's lives... but you can still be a great mother on top of that.Colthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16972679742520383171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3549259773779062586.post-15380950168304423272013-02-20T22:15:00.549-06:002013-02-20T22:15:00.549-06:00You go girl! I'm proud of you!!!! No advice ...You go girl! I'm proud of you!!!! No advice from me... I'm still the single one... ha haHeidi Hendersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14138815030945652836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3549259773779062586.post-33478506488803458722013-02-20T22:11:56.608-06:002013-02-20T22:11:56.608-06:00Mark's residency and fellowship have not been ...Mark's residency and fellowship have not been so forgiving in terms of time (though he is the organized, official cleaner of our house and a great cook as well!). Thankfully, I have been blessed with a lot of flexibility in my chosen field. For 2 years I had to put in full-time work as a mom, but I established a great reputation for myself that helped others to bend over backwards to accommodate my request for a flexible, part-time schedule after Ella was born. I think the key is making up your mind that you can balance things (and being realistic about what you can and can't do). For me, I end up getting very little sleep at night because I have so much to do when the kids go to bed. (I try to maximize my time with them when they are awake.) I've been thinking through what I want to do when we move to Utah, and I was wondering if I could find the same great flexibility. Thankfully, it looks like I might be able to swing a part-time faculty appointment with a prestigious group that I communicated my desire for balance to. Erin, you are doing so much great work now, and I know that this hard work upfront will help you when it comes time to navigate the part-time path. I have also had the perfect positions/situations emerge and knew which positions would not work and felt entirely prompted about the specific route to take. You will be entitled to the same thing!! It's tough to juggle, but I know that you can do it!Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12331532397328079062noreply@blogger.com